One of the toughest parts about being single, likely second to the actual loneliness that some people experience, is the act of trying to find someone. So many ways, but nothing that works 100% of the time.
Then, there's the actual dates. Someone may look really good on paper, or physically, but what you get when they are in front of you can be much different. They may be arrogant, mean, they don't ask questions, or worse yet, you've been cat-fished. OR, maybe it's you who isn't putting out the right energy.
The process to finding a new job offers similar challenges. In both cases, the result of your efforts is not completely dependent upon you. You certainly have some responsibility to be true to the process, but outside of that, it's all about timing. In order to successfully navigate these processes, you need a few tools.
Confidence
This is that thing we all pretend we have, but more times than not, we're faking it. Before starting your job hunt, you need to be confident. Ask yourself, not only what skills you are bringing to the table that are desirable, but what combinations of things can you do that people attribute to you. Ask your professors, or coworkers why they enjoyed working with you? Ask your close friends, what do they expect from you when you are dealing with a problem? What role do you normally play on a team (Leader, Do-er, Project Management, Helper)? Learn what it is that makes you special, and be confident that no one can do what you do, better than you.
Be confident in what you are looking for. Write down your "Must Haves" and your "Nice to Haves," and stick to it. Don't settle for anything that doesn't meet your "Must Have" requirements. However, be realistic. Not everything is a must have. Write down about 7 or 8 things, and let no more than 4 or 5 things be a "Must Have."
Be Confident in your process. Create a fantastic resume (you can get help with that). Have a schedule to apply to jobs (everyday likely isn't going to be the most productive). Network! Get on LinkedIn, join MeetUp groups, go to conferences; Meet People. Whatever you do, be confident that you are doing everything necessary to get a job. You don't have to do everything, but whatever your process is, you should work it diligently.
Personality
When I recruited, the one thing that I hated more than anything was interviewing someone who didn't have personality. I'd ask an icebreaker, and the person would relate their answer to business. Granted, some employers may like that. However, most employers want to hire someone who is human. Having a personality doesn't mean kicking your feet on a table and telling a bunch of dirty jokes. It means allowing yourself to be human, and flawed. First and foremost, that means smiling. Be genuinely happy to be there. Think about the interview process as an opportunity to get to know someone better (the company). It's almost like being set up on a blind date, and asking the person setting it all up questions about your future date. Sure, they're going to ask you questions, but it goes both ways.
Second it means not being afraid to answer honestly if someone said, what did you do this weekend. If you were at a concert, talk about it. If you were at a festival, talk about it. If you went to the beach, talk about it. If you sat at home and watched reality TV, talk about it. Please do not say, "I was just preparing for this interview."
Personality applies to networking as well. Note that most people who have made successful connections during networking events were hired because the person they spoke with liked "them." They seemed friendly, spoke like they had a decent education, had similar interests, and just so happened to be looking for a job.
Some people think they lack personality because they don't participate in what the mainstream may call interesting. If it's who you are, talk about it. I don't care if it's crocheting, or collecting coins, it is who you are and people want to know about it.
Mental Toughness - Get Your Mind Right
This is the most important thing you must hone before starting the job hunting process. Like dating, you could find the love of your life almost immediately. But also like dating, you are likely going to go through emotional ups and downs that will have you question if you are crazy, or if everyone else is. Before embarking on this journey, you might want to become familiar with the serenity prayer.
Know this; A lack of interest, or multiple rejections have nothing to do with who you are and your ability. There are multiple factors that go into hiring decisions, and each one is different. The economy, the time of year, the competition, the exact need....I could go on for days. However, from someone who balled like a baby when I received a rejection from a company I thought loved me, and I loved them, I know that no amount of realism will shield you from that low that you can encounter in this process. It's okay to have your moment, but then you need to get back up and get right back to it.
The two previous tools are extremely important for this tool. Confidence tells you that you're doing everything you need to do (maybe some tweaks here and there), so stick to the script. Personality says, this process won't change who you are. Make sure you have a support group cheering you on. Take breaks, because job hunting can burn you out.
Bonus (Humility)
This does not apply to dating, by the way. If you have bills to pay, and timing isn't on your side at the moment, don't be so arrogant not to do what you have to do. There are jobs out there, and they won't all pay what you need, but they can help. Bartender, retail sales, Uber... Be willing to do what you have to. It builds character.
Ty